What are you missing out on?

Getting Older

From a young age I had an unnaturally strong love of music. I especially loved (and still do love) going out at night to see bands play. I love everything about it. Not just the rush of the music and the social time, but also the getting ready part. I love deciding what to wear and the anticipation of what the night will bring. The eternal optimist in my mind imagines that the opening bands will be just as good as the headliner and everyone is dressed and jacked like it's the last place on earth. As life and time wore on these events became fewer and further apart. When my health was at it's worst I spent most of my days catching up on everyday tasks rather than doing the things I really loved. I couldn't even fit into any of my favorite clothes much less get into the mindset needed to interact with other people. I heard a lot of people say- "You're just getting older," or "This is what 35-40 feels like."  It's true that I was (and still am) a mom and priorities change. These new responsibilities were also being hindered by my lack of strength and energy. It didn't seem right to be content with just enough energy to get through to 8pm. Was this it? I felt like there was some secret I was missing out on.

No Regrets

How often do you stay home because of a health issue? Maybe you're tired from a long day at work or your foot or lower back pain is so unbearable your social time is mostly spent with a screen? Maybe it's not a rock show or rave that you're missing, but there is a whole big world of fun out there and it would be terrible for health problems to stop you from a lifetime of memories. You need to learn, as I have, to be terrified of regret. There is a lot of BAD INFORMATION out there. I especially hate the *you're just getting older* myth. I believe all of this bad information causes serious apathy in people. As a culture we are getting sicker and fatter every year. Just watch an old movie and look at the people in the crowds. Then go to the Mall of America and people watch for two minutes. We've traded hip huggers for pajama bottoms and are being taught to embrace visceral, gluteofemoral, and subcutaneous fat as beautiful. Please know that I am not advocating for the heroine sheik days of the nineties, but at least let's agree on a health promoting body fat percentage that lets the body function from an optimal place. We can argue about how we got here as a society, but I prefer to focus on how we can get out.

Embrace Reality

First thing is to get right with yourself. More importantly- your FUTURE SELF. You need to take a deep look at the big "who am I?' and ask yourself what do you really want. What do you like, and what don't you like about how you live your life right now? One of Tibet's most famous yogis Milarepa said, "Enemies arise from your own mind; to conquer them, cease negative actions, cultivate positive ones, and tame your mind." He is basically saying that to be truly happy with who you are you need to do your best all day long. You are how you move, eat, sleep, and think. What you put in, you get out. The same way you can't take a bath once and be clean forever, you also can't workout hard twice a week and expect massive results. You need to be living the other 23 hours of each day in accordance with your ideal. If you are moving, eating, and dealing with stress in a way that your body doesn't want, it will tell you with knee pain, acne, unwanted fat, sleep disorders, and even anxiety. These symptoms are not a fact of aging, but a signal that you are doing something wrong, and once you take ownership of your body you have the power to change it. Just because your mother had bunions does not predispose you to having bunions. But if you wear the same footwear and move in a similar way- over time you will! While there are some genetically inherited disorders, I have seen so many people totally change how they look and feel just by changing how they eat, move, sleep, and think. They attain their goals by remaining consistent with the proper inputs over time. The secret is in finding the proper inputs for your body and cultivating the habits that you can stick to. Yes, eating a roasted salmon salad for every meal and training at the gym two hours a day will likely get you to your health goal, but in reality it's not sustainable.

It's ok to be different.

If you want to have better health or look better you need to find a way to eat, move, sleep, and think that you enjoy so you can do it consistently. I know that a lot of people enjoy yoga. I was a regular yogi for some time. But still something about it never felt right for me. Most times I would get bored and end up looking at the clock the whole time. Sometimes my competitive nature would get the best of me and I would look around the room and think about how much more flexible I was than Suzi or Sally. But always the Shavasana at the end of the class would just kill me. I was lying there in corpse pose and I wanted to crawl out of my skin! Namaste. Finally! This practice is loved by so many, but it wasn't right for me. I realized that it wasn't me that had to change into someone who enjoyed yoga, I just needed to find a movement practice that I enjoyed. Don’t forget that movement is not just what you do at the gym, but also how you walk up stairs, sit in your car, watch a movie, and all the other actions that make up your day.

I have heard so many people tell me they could never stop eating bread or dairy. Really? Why? Does what you eat define your character? The reality is that something you are doing is hurting you internally. Bloating and farting are not normal. Losing tons of hair in the shower is also not normal. Chronic fatigue and depression are not normal. These are signs of internal distress. People tell me they feel awful when they eat red meat. Well let's really look at that meal you ate. Was that all on your plate or did that burger come with cheesy tots and a soda? Right there you have four foods that are difficult for many people- highly processed oils, dairy, sugar, and gluten. Remember, in order to feel more like ourselves we need to cease negative actions. I know I sound like a used car salesman but would it hurt to remove these inflammatory foods for 30 days? The results you see from being compliant for such a short time might just get your mind right for the long haul. 

Control Then Flow

So the first step is find a movement practice you enjoy. The second is to remove inflammatory foods. The third step is my favorite- sleep! When you don't get enough sleep, insulin (the hormone responsible for stabilizing blood sugar) increases by 50%. This will cause you to store more fat. This one is so simple, just sleep, about 8 hours a day. I naturally wake up at 5:24 every morning, so to get 8 hours I need to be in bed by 9:30. If you are like "Hey- I'll sleep when I'm dead! Right now I need to be out raging every night till bar close." Just know that there is a price you pay when you go against your natural circaidian rhythm. I'm not saying that you have to be in bed early every night forever, but if you are feeling like garbage this is an easy way to get a handle on your health. Once exercise, diet, and sleep are dialed in you will be more metabolically flexible and able to stay up late more often. If you find it hard to fall asleep and or stay asleep you will want to do a deeper investigation. It could be imbalanced hormones, infections, parasites, or a bunch of other things. Remember- you are trying to solve the mystery of how to best use your body. We need to cultivate positive actions. Also be open to the idea that the things that may have worked in the past may be detrimental to your success now. 

If you aren't a curious person or are too busy to evaluate what your body wants, you might want to hire someone to take a look at where you are now and build a plan for you. 🤔😉

Potential & Vitality

Yes aging is real, but improvement is only hindered by your willingness to change. While I'm definitely not the dewey doe I once was, I can definitely kick more a$$ than I could in my twenties and fit into my favorite clothes again... for the most part. Those leather pants were really tight.

Slow Cooker Confit

In 2013 we decided to spend the summer living in the vineyard. We had a trailer to sleep in, a giant garden, 6 chickens (for eggs,) and my husband was tending the vines. On top of that we had about 25 pheasant chicks to raise. We planned to harvest some for meat and some we would set free.* I was trying so hard to be a good mother to these fluffy orphan foul.

Kids "hypnotizing" the pheasants.

Kids "hypnotizing" the pheasants.

I drove miles and miles to get thee most wild pheasant diet-appropriate feed with no corn, soy, or antibiotics. The kids and I held and played with them as well as kept their spacious area free of filth. We didn't name any of them because we knew their ultimate fate. So when it came to the day of harvest I knew we could not waste one bit of these birds. Most pheasant hunters only breast the birds and dispose of the rest. We were not going to be this wasteful. Carefully we removed the livers that were used for pate, the gizzards that would be sautéed, and the breasts were separated from the bottom half. Instead of throwing the legs/backs in the bin, we vacuum packed them and put them in the deep freeze where I could avoid them for some time. I was told that the bones are many in pheasant legs and surrounded by so much connective tissue that it's very difficult to get to the meat. Nonetheless one day I gave it a go. So much frustration to get such a small amount of protein! So they continued their deep cryostasis until the day I was at Lenny Russo's Heartland deli in Lowertown. There in the fridge case was the answer to elevating these tiny legs with tiny bones. Duck Confit! Heartland even carried the duck fat that would gently cook them to falling off the bone perfection. A few google searches and I learned I could make this traditional French dish in my slow cooker. Easy peesey.  I made minor tweaks to this recipe, and the result was amazing. The legs become so rich you won't want to serve it with anything too fatty or starchy. I suggest a crisp romaine salad and a small side of sweet potato, beet salad, or wild rice. More often these legs wait in the fridge to be picked on for quick snacks. The fatty preparation acts as sort of a preserving layer so they can be taken along on hikes or popped into lunch without need to be kept cool or to be heated before consumption. If the legs you start with have the skin on you can keep it on and remove it when they come out of the slow cooker. From there I put the skin on a sheet pan and crisp it up under the broiler. Everything gets used and everything tastes amazing.

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Any poultry legs (thigh and drumstick) will do- pheasant, turkey, chicken, and of course duck. The ones in the picture are chicken from Kadejan that I bought at the Wedge. They are "treated and handled humanely from chick to chicken" and raised without antibiotics. I try to buy as little meat as I can that didn't get to live a full life in the wild. This is a value and a preference. Over time I have found that wild meat has more flavor and better texture. Eat Wild Minnesota is a good resource for finding meat raised under very high, humane standards.

After cooking, pour the used fat into a container and put it in the fridge. It will separate. The top is the fat to be used again (and again,) the bottom is the amazing gelatin made from the facia that was melted away. It has now also picked up TONS of flavor from the cooking herbs, meat itself, and salt. I use this for the base of gravies and sautés. Nothing goes to waste.  :)

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This is a printable pdf.

This is a printable pdf.

*Look, I know this is a delicate subject for some. If you are vegan or vegetarian for ethical reasons there is nothing I can say to defend my position. If you do eat meat ever and still think raising and harvesting animals is cruel, remember that it is your responsibility to choose from where your meat comes. When you eat meat that had a great life you are taking dollars out of the pockets of the factory farms whose only thought is $$$, not animal or human welfare.

Real food. Now what?

With the New Year fast approaching a lot of you will be starting a new diet regime of some sort. Maybe you'll do the Mediterranean diet or try a Whole 30, but what they all come down to is EAT REAL FOOD. I know that some people are just too busy to learn every nuance of those systems to make them truly effective and to make it stick. What a lot of people want is to just be told WHAT to cook. I get it. So I've decided to post 12 (maybe more) really great recipes for the New Year. These are only things that I make on a regular basis. Some are easier than others, but I promise you will love them!

Food can be so stressful for people. Whether they are eating to fill a certain ideology, or they use food as a therapist :::lays on the couch with a sleeve of Oreos.::: The main rule is to eat food that tastes good and sends your hormones the right signals. While in general I don't think it's good to snack often, below I list a few snack ideas that won't fully derail you. As of late I've been using the intermittent fasting method of leaving a 8 hour eating window and fasting the other 16 hours. So for me I stop eating at 8pm and don't eat again until 11 or 12 the next day with the exception of the occasional Bulletproof Coffee with Brain Octane, tea, and water. I've noticed that when I eat breakfast I get slower, less focused, and crave snacks the rest of the morning. So since I'm only having two other meals, they better taste good right? Sometimes my big meal is at lunch, sometimes dinner. The smaller meal is almost always some kind of salad or if I need something warm- sautéed greens with an over-easy egg on top. On days I train I often crave more protein and some days meat doesn't sound good at all. I listen to my body. Hopefully when you have a sweet arsenal of solid real-food recipes (that you enjoy cooking,) eating will be stress-free.


Go-to Snacks

Real Fermented Sauerkraut rolled in a slice of Deli Ham If you can do cheese a nice slice of imported Swiss melted in the microwave (before you add the kraut) can be really good!

A tin of Smoked Oysters or sardines alone or on a Cracker (gluten free) Add a killer salad and it's a meal! A generous portion of smoked salmon can be nice too.

Homemade* Pesto or Tapenade, Jerky, Salami, Prosciutto Ham, Liver Pate, or Baba Ganoush Eaten alone or on a buttered piece of this bread. Try subbing cilantro for basil in your pesto for a therapeutic effect. 

Egg Salad made with Homemade* Mayo over a bed of arugula. Recipe coming soon.

A Square of 90% Dark Chocolate and a pitted date tastes just like a Hershey's bar if you close your eyes.

A Pomegranate Tear it open- health benefits galore.

4 to 8oz of GT's Kombucha It's a classic and it satisfies sugar cravings while bringing the probiotics.

Leftovers If they were good and balanced the first time it seems to reason...

Carrots or Celery I think my mom said "If you're not hungry for vegetables, you're not actually hungry."


So there's some snacks, let's talk about the recipes. While living in a smaller town than Minneapolis for a few years I was forced to learn a few tricks in the kitchen. There was no Brasa, Punch Pizza, or King and I Thai to lean on when I didn't want to cook. The recipes I post are mostly what I craved from these places as well as a few I picked up from family and friends. All of them have been adapted for my family to always be gluten-free and mostly dairy-free. If there are substitutions that can be made I will mention them. If you have a favorite recipe that includes gluten or dairy- feel free to send it to me and I will do my best to convert it for you.


At the Store

Always choose high quality vegetables and meats. Even if you are skeptical about the effect of GMOs or have heard that going organic is B.S., just remember- It is important to vote with your pocket book! We must reward those who treat animals humanely and farmers who put in the effort to preserve our earth. Supporting them is taking money out of the pockets of those who would destroy it.


I hope you get a chance to try some of these recipes. The first one is Spicy Shrimp Soup and you can already find it Right Here! In each post is a printable jpeg so you can collect them all! Feel free to leave a comment. That adorable knit beet in the photo above can be found here.


*When I specify homemade I mean it. :) These store-bought oil based foods are often made with rancid, low quality oils. You can find high quality avocado, olive, or MCT oil just about anywhere these days. Pair that with an immersion blender and you can make any condiment your heart desires.

Spicy Shrimp Soup

In my early twenties I was lucky enough to be a waitress at a restaurant called the King and I (way back when It was located on Nicolett Mall.) The chef would cook for us after every shift! There was a dish on the menu called Palatial Shrimp Soup. One of the most expensive dishes on the menu, it was a luxurious, slightly spicy, orange tinted coconut soup served over a bed of cabbage. So good! I have tried to Google up this recipe so many times but apparently this is some kind of generic made up name. It wasn't until last winter we were at a friends dinner party and I couldn't believe it. There it was. The Palatial Shrimp Soup! Well not quite. But it was definitely a coconut based spicy shrimp soup. And maybe it was actually just a little better...GASP!?! Where the Thai soup was a little sweet, this one was, well, indian? There was definiltly no cilantro in the palatial soupIt was embarrassing how much we all ate! Luckily our host shared her recipe and the rest is history.

With two pounds of shrimp, it's the perfect amount for four people. If you have more people just add a half pound more protein per person. I say protein and not shrimp because you could totally sub out thinly sliced chicken, beef, calamari, whatever floats your boat. On that note, yes you can get 2 pounds of shrimp for cheap at Trader Joes, but sometimes I stop by Coastal Seafoods and get it there. That way I know it is clean and sustainably sourced. If I'm lucky it's a Monday when shrimp is 20% off. 

I made a few changes to fit how we stack our pantry. I always use AROY-D coconut milk. The results are predictable and it only contains coconut. NO gums or weird flavors/preservatives. You can get it at Cub or almost any grocery store these days. If you have to get some other brand please choose the full fat or coconut cream version.

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Since you never know how hot the serrano pepper will be you could add 1/2 tsp of red pepper flakes and the other at the end when you taste the final dish. After working at the King and I for three years I'm not to be trusted on whether something is too spicy or not. If you're really scared of heat, try omitting seeds from the Serrano. It's really quick and easy to make and pretty impressive to company. I recommend getting a large microplane to grate the ginger and garlic. Chopping these often takes the fun out of cooking if you don't have massive knife skills. Oh yeah- don't skip the mustard seeds!

Also, please add salt if needed. When I use homemade broth it is often WAAAAY less salty than store bought. Salt is your friend. Make your food taste good. The "1 tsp" in the recipe is a starting point.

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(click and drag the jpeg below to your desktop and print)

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Studio Mixtape: SCORPIO

youtube playlist here

GRANDMASTER FLASH/Scorpio

JOHN CARPENTER/Christine Attacks

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS/Mirror Mirror

PRIMAL SCREAM/Sideman

ENTRANCE/Valium Blues

THE CURE/Primary

SHRIEKBACK/Black Light Trap

DEPECHE MODE/Blue Dress

THE HUMAN LEAGUE/The Dignity of Labour, Pt. 3

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE/The Thing Main Theme

CHRISTIAN DEATH/Cervix Couch

ISAO TOMITA/Boléro

WENDY CARLOS/Bach: Well-Tempered Clavier, Book 1 - Prelude & Fugue #2 In C Minor, BWV 847

MELLOW CANDLE/The Poet and the Witch

ANGEL ANTONIO GONZALEZ/Tocata y Fuga in D Minor, BWV 565 (En la Selva Version)

Stress: A general word for something that can kill you.

Your brain, with the help of your adrenals, is your body's thermostat. Also known as the HPA axis, it perceives stress coming from inside or outside of your body and then generates an appropriate response to the stress. And when I say stress, I mean all inputs detected. Everything from your boss yelling at you to not eating enough green vegetables. The HPA axis says, “Hey, we are not getting enough calcium because we never eat collard greens- let’s just pull it out of our bones. We don't need bones anyway since we never really move around too much.” It’s a vengeful thermostat. :) Especially because you don’t always realize you’re doing anything wrong. If you’re a mom, you know you have not been the same since those years of being up all hours with the babies. If you’re a hipster you might wonder how much of a toll your days of partying might have had. You can often tell when you've been drinking too much and sleeping too little. So you pull back on the vino and catch up on your sleep during the weekends. But you might not really know what kind of a toll these inputs have had on the inside of your body.  Hormone, immune, digestion, and detoxification systems can get overly burdened, and over time, if one system starts to fail it will over burden the other and so on.

What other stressors do you deal with? Do you even know? Are you getting enough exercise? Is it the right exercise for your body? Could you have a parasite? Is it possible a bacterial infection is causing your lower back pain?  Man, the possible contributors to poor health are as long as the list of symptoms. And worse is that many diseases and disorders have the same symptoms. Dry skin can be a symptom of celiac disease, poor thyroid function, low estrogen, or even food allergies. Which one is it? All to often health care professionals will write you a prescription after 10 minutes of discussion and send you on your way. Researchers now say that Medical Errors Are No. 3 Cause Of U.S DeathsI did warn you that this was going to be a scary post didn't I? :)

With the current state of our healthcare system more people are starting to become their own health advocate, physically and financially.

Do you know how your body is responding to stress? Modern stressors can be physical, emotional, or chemical/biochemical. With pilates we can get a really good idea for what might be going wrong as seen from the outside. With functional lab testing you can get a pretty good snapshot of what's happening on the inside. When practiced together as a method for metabolic recovery, you can actually start to feel better. How vital are you?

Do you like this post? Then share it by clicking one of the links below. Or better yet book an appointment by emailing me directly at controlandflow@gmail.com. Also, this is not medical advice and should not be used as such.